Most everybody who experienced the amazing feeling of being in love also can give testimony to how quickly the feeling can subside over time. After the initial infatuation period is over and people get used to each other things can significantly change. People who once felt deep compassion, tenderness and love for one another one day experience deep contempt and hatred. The reason is because we have this deep embedded notion in our culture that love is easy as long as you find the right person. Part of the problem is that we most of the time fall in love with an image we have of another person without ever having taken the time to truly get to know them. When we meet a person whom we like we most likely only see that which we want to see. In our mind we create an image of who we want to person to be, neglecting to see them as they are. People who are looking for love undergo endless procedures in order to make themselves look attractive and desirable, but neglect to show others who they really are, or to look beyond appearances and impressions.

True and genuine love is more than a just a feeling that comes over us when we meet the right person. True and mature love is an attitude, a character orientation, an activity, a giving of ourselves, of that which is alive in us, our joy, our interest, understanding, humor, our knowledge, compassion and empathy. In giving of that which is alive in ourselves we enrich the life of the other person and their sense of aliveness, and in return, we grow in our humanity by experiencing the other person fully. In order to love another person we need to see them as they are, undistorted by our illusions, hopes and expectations, in other words, we need to be aware of his or her unique individuality. Thru true compassion and empathy we can learn to experience within ourselves what another person is experiencing, and thru this experience, he and I become one. Loving someone means that we want them to grow and unfold as they are, for their own sake, in their own ways, and not for the purpose of serving us, not as an object for our use. Since love is a giving, it furthermore implies that we continuously respond to the needs of the other person, expressed or unexpressed.

Much more than a feeling, true love is a giving. It takes much more effort than previously assumed. Sincere and genuine love is unconditional and ever lasting since it goes beyond the surface of appearances and impressions. Loving another person is possible only if we know them, which is possible only if we make the effort to get to know them. Instead of being blinded by how we would want or need a person to be, we need to make more effort trying to understand who the other person really is. Many relationships drift apart because one person does not approve of the actions or behavior of the other person, without even making the effort to understand them. The issues should not be if we approve of how the other person is behaving, but rather if we accept them. People become alienated from one another over time because they think that their partner would not understand them, and then little white lies are told because we do not want to hurt the other person’s feelings, or rather we do not want to rock the boat. People remain together on the outside while becoming strangers to each other on the inside. Living side by side without any effort to relate to one another, without open and honest communication this is the recipe for a breakup. People still might remain together, but what they think about each other, well, that is kept unsaid.

The essential element missing in most relationships is openness. Openness in the way we express ourselves to the other person, and openness towards the other person. The key verb here is to relate, which is what relationships should be all about, two or more people actively relating themselves to one another without trying to manipulate, change, or judge one another. Too many times we enter into a relationship thinking we know another person as long as we like what we see, but to assume that we can ever understand another person is misleading and dangerous. Only if we are fully open towards the other person, continuously paying attention to and learning about them, only if we make the effort to see the other person in their entirety, only if we respect them and accept them as they are can we even begin to develop an understanding of who they are.

Many times we can get the false idea that we know another person based on the impression we get. Especially when it comes to love we easily cling to an image or an ideal, and our perception of another person can easily lead us to overlook important clues and insights. We then brush aside certain different and unusual behaviors and comments by the other person because we only see what we want to see and hear what we want to hear, and our perception becomes very selective and distorted. We come to believe that we already know another person based upon our perception of them, and this will sooner or later result in problems within the relationship.

If we learn to treat the other person as an equal, with all the respect and appreciation we would want them to treat us with, if we learn to be less confrontational, manipulative and domineering, and instead make the effort to be more loving, understanding, and accepting of the other person, the quality of our relationships will improve tremendously. The key of my message is that when we treat other people with respect, acceptance, appreciation we will ultimately receive back their respect, acceptance and appreciation, and even in the off chance that this is not the case, we at least we see them for who they are and we let them be, without being controlled by their negativity. Knowing that we ultimately cannot change anybody and accepting others unconditionally (without taking what they say or do personal) will ultimately change the way we live with others in positive ways. It is our responsibility as a human being to be more understanding and accepting towards others. Then we can learn to relate ourselves, openly and genuinely to other people, without trying to change or manipulate them.

However other people behave, whatever they say or do, by being more open toward them, by seeing them as they are, by allowing them to be however they choose to be can we develop a better understanding of who are as an individual. We need to surrender our need to compare others to the way we want them or need them to be, and instead accept them unconditionally. Only then is it possible to develop true and genuine human relationships, when we make the continuous effort to understand one another better can our relationships become more healthy, solid and genuine. If we learn to treat the other person as an equal, with all the respect and appreciation we would want them to treat us with, if we learn to be less confrontational, manipulative and domineering, and if we instead make the effort to be more loving, understanding, and accepting of the other person, the quality of our relationships will improve tremendously.

* If you dont ask for what you want dont complain about what you get.

* What you focus on creates your reality.

* Wherever you are you need to be and what you will be you are now becoming.

* Love is a responding to the need of love in the other person.

* Feelings are natures way of speaking to you.

* God is in the experience trough which we create.

* If you dont learn from your mistakes you are doomed to repeat them.

As time goes on I will update this list with more realizations, so please make sure to come back, and if you feel that there is another realization which should be included here please let me know.

Transmutational Procedure

RULES FOR DYSFUNCTIONAL PATTERNS

Step I:

In Rome, Do as the Romans

Upon arrival on the Earth plane, your instructions were to completely fall asleep—just like the local population. You were to totally forget your true identity and everything you knew.

Since most of you entered as babies, this was not difficult. Every institution in the culture supported this memory loss, and it became easier as the years went on. Any inadvertent slips on your part most likely occurred during childhood and were easily dismissed as the result of an overactive imagination.

Since imagination threatens the dysfunctionality of this world, it was probably drummed out of you as soon as possible by the adult inhabitants of the planet. What your parents were unable to suppress, the school systems most likely made short work of, as this is their specialty. In this manner, the local planetary inhabitants unwittingly assisted in maintaining the secrecy of your presence and the security of the mission.

Step II:
In Rome, Do as the Arcturians
Ground Rules

Step II of the transmutational process cannot begin until the successful completion of Step I. In short, you must be able to pass for a local, and you are not allowed to just fake it. Total dysfunctionality must be achieved before Step II can commence.

When extraterrestrial incarnates on mission to Planet Earth finally arrive at the point where they are no longer able to demand water they can drink, food they can eat, or air they can breathe without killing themselves, they are to understand that Step I of the mission has been successfully completed. The incarnates have truly become Earthlings, and Step II may now begin.

Coming Out of the Closet

You may dimly recall the saying, “In Rome, do as the Arcturians.” If not, don’t strain your memory. Even if you do remember, the humor of it may not be immediately evident. That catchy little intergalactic saying was coined to capture the essence of Step II of the transmutational procedure. That procedure entails waking up to your true identity and forgetting everything you learned up until this point so that you can remember what you actually knew before you got here. In other words, you are to junk the entire identity you just spent a lifetime laboriously creating. Now do you see why we say the humor may escape you?
All Roads Lead Away from Rome

Yes, you understood the preceding entry correctly. You are to disengage yourself from your old identity and dissociate from a declining Rome. After falling asleep profoundly, you are now expected to wake up, equally profoundly. Now is the time to dismantle all false identity. Now is the time to forget that which has been learned in deference to that which is deeply known. Now begins the awesome process of altering human history. Now is the time for everything, and now is here.

(Refer to “Time/Space Anomalies and Their Physical Functions” in this section for further clarification on “now.” Also see “Passing for White” and “Closet Cases” in Troubleshooting for some precautionary instructions about this emerging consciousness.)

Gentle Reminder

Some of you are probably wondering why such a torturous route was chosen to get to the desired destination. The reason you are wondering this is because you have been on this planet too long and have absorbed some, if not all, of its dysfunctional thinking. Keep in mind that this planet is no model for rational thought, and that what passes for sanity here is sending chills down the spine of the remainder of the universe.

The need to absorb the dysfunctionality of the planet is in order to legitimately disarm its patterns. Any other method would constitute an invasion, and we do not invade. We alter by earning the right to do so. No entity is permitted to enter an alien world and disarm its dysfunctional patterns without having lived them. That is in compliance with Universal Law, which we represent.

Although we have had transmissions from many of you, screaming, “Invade already. Just get me out of here!,” we regretfully remind you that that is not what you signed up for. Getting out of here is not the point. Getting more light into here is. Remember?

He said to them, “A fight is going on inside me… it is a terrible fight
and it is between two wolves.

One wolf represents fear, anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance,
self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority,
and ego.

The other stands for joy, peace, love, hope, sharing, serenity, humility,
kindness, benevolence, friendship, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion,
and faith.

This same fight is going on inside of you, and inside every other person,
too.”

The children thought about it for a minute and then one child asked his
grandfather, “Which wolf will win?”

The old Cherokee elder replied simply … “The one you feed.”

Time is of the essence in that how we use it to create a change in perception, attitude, habit, response, bring about a new way of thinking, feeling and being.

Ultimately it is our choice to spend our time feeling bad, hurt, depressed, angry, irritated, frustrated, or happy, alive, creative, loved, valuable, passionate and free. Depending on what we focus on we create our own state of being, and through this our world.

This is difficult for us to understand since we live in a world where our time is being consumed by countless obligations, expectations and external demands. ‘Growing up” we learned to postpone instant gratification for some kind of future goal where achievement and outcome based education forced us into the mindset of learning, working and living for tomorrow.

We learned to fill our minds with facts and information imposed onto us from an omnipresent external authority, which ultimately caused us to stop thinking for ourselves. As we began to invest our time for the sake of fitting the mold imposed onto us we lost touch with our inner faculties and endowments as we were trained to be like machines.

Both learning and working which are essential elements of life have become a function we are required to fulfill, a means to an end. We go to school in order to graduate with good grades, in order to get a good job, in order to make the kind of money necessary to live a good life.

All of this has completely distorted our view of time, and because of that we find a great number of of people in this world who are out of touch with themselves and nature, they are disturbed, stressed out, depressed, anxious, frustrated and easily irritated.

The reason for why that is can all be traced back to the fact that we human beings have become conditioned to function as human doings, and because of that we are not using our time but instead time is using us.

The good news is that regardless of how stressful, out of touch, disturbed, disconnected, empty and frustrated we might feel, regardless of how we might hate our job or routine in life, by being more aware of the subtle ways of how we spend our time to feel and think the way that we do, and by introducing small changes in our habits, attitude and reactions we can create small but significant changes in our own reality.

Instead of looking for change outside of us, which is another side effect of being trained to invest our time for some kind of future goal, it is essential to look at ourselves for creating the kind of changes we want to see in the world we live in.

The world we live in is the way it is because this is how we created it. We attract situations, circumstances and people into our life for our own education, and unless we learn the lessons contained in what is happening to us we are doomed to repeat our own mistakes.

We cannot, and are not even supposed to change things outside of us, but our purpose is to learn from tour own experience as they provide us with the insight we need in order to know our true identity, and in order to do that time is of the essence, so how are you going to spend it?

We are all learning all the time, but only very few of us are aware of what it is we are learning as we are distracted from all of those external rules, guidelines and expectations, book learning and academic achievement. Ultimately no teacher can teach us anything, but this is the knowledge we gain for ourselves as the result of what is learn from and through our unique life experiences. This is how our realizations are formed, our unique views, philosophy, outlook on life, mentality, character, habits, way of thinking and how we feel is all the result of what we have learned on a deep personal, emotional, intellectual, spiritual and emotional level.

The main point of the first lesson of realize2actualize is to bring your attention to this awareness, what have you learned and what do you know? It is very important to take an inventory of what it is you have learned form past experiences, but almost more important is it to open yourself up to what is life teaching you going forward on a day to day basis. All the things that happen to you, the people who come into your life, all experience and circumstances, especially those things which are difficult for you to deal with provide you with the greatest opportunity to learn.

All experiences are designed for your own benefit, so you can learn about yourself and your true identity.

The point of the first insight of realize2actualize is to realize that Life is a School, and that we are all here to learn from what experience is teaching us. Are you ready to begin on this process?

As we ‘grow’ up we learn to postpone instant gratification and instead are forced to invest our time for a future goal, i.e. dont play with your friends today, but instead study for your math test so you get a good grade, so you can graduate and one day get a good job.

What happens during this time?

As children we experienced things quite differently, of course this was easy with no memory of the past, and no thoughts about the future. There was no tomorrow, no yesterday, but only the present moment, and this is how we lived our life, with full presence of mind and awareness in the here and now. As we ‘grew’ older this changed quite a bit since we were no longer allowed to daydream and let our imagination run free. From then on life became a matter of doing what we have to do instead of doing what we wanted to.

This was when our whole concept of time changed. Instead of living with full presence in the NOW we learned that we need to sacrifice ‘present moment living’ for the sake of some future goal. The need to achieve, compete and produce required us to forget how to listen to our inner voice (which is extremely predominant in young children), and instead listen to and obey and outside authority in order to fit the mold imposed onto us.

The main problem of a market driven society is that we are not in charge of our time but instead time is using us as we are controlled by countless obligations, requirements and expectations.

Nobody has time for anything, but everybody runs from one meeting to another appointment to a social gathering in our need to compensate for the fact that we are utterly lost and confused.

Who is really taking the time to question what we we are doing here in order to fully understand our true nature as spiritual beings?

The point I would like to leave you for now is that while we cannot stop time we can slow it down, and especially in our hectic times this is something we all should be working on. Every moment of our life is precious, an opportunity for us to practice being more present instead of simply being driven from one obligation to another.

Whatever it is we are doing, being stuck in traffic, going to the grocery store, doing the dishes, talking to people, the difference is how present we are, and that is something we all can learn, or rather practice.

After all, that is why it is called the present, because it is a gift.

There is a Buddhist principle, as well as many other schools of enlightenment suggest that to empty yourself of all knowledge is the basis of any spiritual practice, but I think it is very important to be clear on what kind of knowledge we are talking about here.

As we “grow up in this world we are bombarded with facts and information from our teachers, parents, school, the media, friends and family. Among the things we learn about are: 1. how we are supposed to conduct ourselves in this world, how to be obedient, follow the rule and fit the mold imposed onto us by the world we live in, and then we are also 2. instructed in certain subjects with the focus on book learning and academic achievement.

As we then go through the motions of our formal education our mind becomes filled with all kinds of information from the outside world, and our intelligence and success is measured by how well we retain those “things” we were told.

The knowledge I am talking about here has nothing to do with any of that. There is Buddhist proverb that goes a little something like this: “No knowledge is of any value unless it arises from within yourself. Ultimately no teacher can teach you anything.”

What I refer to as true authentic knowledge is the kind of knowledge which can only be found by looking within, and here you find the things you already knew as a child but have forgotten as your mind became filled with all the things other people told you.

Interestingly enough, as we “grow up we eventually come to realize that it is actually those things which keep us from being fully aware in the present moment because our mind is busy analyzing, evaluating, judging and comparing that which we we see and hear to ourselves and our own standards, values, knowledge and expectations. There is another saying that suggests that “You cannot add more to a  cup that is already full”.

I wholeheartedly agree that we need to empty ourselves in order to fill ourselves, and to know that we do not know is the beginning of true wisdom, yet, the kind of knowledge I am talking about here is quite different from that.

Among some of the things which I suggest are important to know for yourself:

To know who I am.

To know what I think.

To know what I feel.

To know my purpose.

To know what I want.

To know how to express myself.

To know how to relate to others and how to let them relate themselves to me.

To know how to be open to all experience and learn the lessons contained in what is happening to you.

To know how to deal with negative feelings such as disappointment, loss, heartache, frustration, anger, sadness, depression, anxiety, stress.

To know how to use my time for the sake of creating what I am here to create.

The knowledge I am referring to can be summed in the following; Know Thyself!

Below are a couple of videos which hopefully can shed some more light on the idea that knowledge is power.

Thanks for your time and I would love to hear your comments.