The nature of reality

This is probably the most fundamental question realize2actualize tries to answer, what is reality?

To provide you with some food for thought I would like to remind you of the underlying concept in advertising: Perception is reality!

This is something I always questioned: If perception is reality and everybody perceives differently then what is real to me is not real to you and vice versa?

Following this idea, we all live within our own reality, defined by our subjective perceptions, impressions, interpretations,  judgments and evaluations of what it is we see, hear and feel.

Every single human being lives in and represents a unique reality, separate from the reality of other human beings, regardless of how close they are to that person or for how long they have known them.

The question then is: How can we move beyond our subjective reality in order to connect with and understand the reality of another individual?

 

Being real is a two way street.: First of all it is a matter of openly expressing and relating yourself towards the other person so they can get an insight into what is real and true to you, while at the same time it is also a matter of allowing others be real towards you by fully listening and paying attention to them with the genuine desire to understand.

Only by doing this is it possible for two separate realities to merge and come together as one.

 

Thanks for reading and I would love to read your feedback.

 

Trapped in the comfort zone

As we grow up and our personality evolves we adopt a unique way of thinking, feeling and re-acting, out of which we develop a subjective world view, philosophy belief system as well as the things we like and those we dont like, and together they all define our personal comfort zone.

Of course this comfort zone is different from person to person, but this is where we usually remain for our entire life without ever challenging that, taking risks or upsetting what is comfortable to us. After all, why would we do something which goes against our nature and defines who we are?

Our comfort zone is where we feel safe and protected from the harsh realities of our world, and like a brick wall they keep anything that is different, threatening, unwanted or uncomfortable away from us.

The main question I would like to address here is the following; If we remain within our own comfort zone, how is it possible to ever truly grow and change?

I realize for myself how I am stuck within my own way of thinking and doing things, but I also realize that by remaining there I miss out on the opportunity to open myself up to that which is new. What is comfortable to me is just that, my own habitual way of thinking and doing things, but beyond that lies an entire world I am missing out on because I am not comfortable there.

Once I begin to face and move beyond my own comfort zone I can begin to develop new habits which can allow me to replace my old and destructive ways of thinking, feeling and re-acting with a more positive way of relating myself to the world around me.

My intention is to take small steps in this direction, and I would like to invite the reader to challenge and move beyond their own comfort zone in order to open up to what is new and different.

Who knows, maybe we can meet there:)

 

The most important lesson of them all…

is not about explaining human behavior or how the universe works, its not about understanding the essence of God or the meaning of life, but the most important lesson of them all I became reminded again today after listening to one of my favorite authors and speakers Leo Buscaglia, and that is love, relationships and the importance of humor.

I can see within myself that sometimes I can be too serious as I am trying to explain my point, too deep and heavy as I am approaching others, and so Mr. Buscaglia showed me again that it does not really matter who is smarter of more intelligent, or specially not who is right or who is wrong, but what matters in this world is the love we give to others and how we add more happiness to their life.

While this is something I realize for myself because it just makes sense, but the putting this awareness into practice and being a more loving person towards others is a very different story, but I am committed to work on that.

The r2a way

Whatever it is you want to change, work on, learn or improve upon, all you need is to first of all realize what it is you want (to work on, learn, change and improve upon), and then you need to actualize what it is you realize, or to use the slogan of Nike which makes this point so well; JUST DO IT.

 

Success, love, happiness, peace, freedom, all those qualities which we all seem to be looking for in the world outside of us, all you/ we gotta do is r2a what it is you seek, but instead of looking for it, just be it, or even better, just do it.

Practice makes mastery, and every moment of our life gives us the opportunity to learn for ourselves what we want to work on, so if you want to be more happy, simply practice to be more happy. If you would like to be more patient, well then, nothing keeps you from practicing how to be more patient in your day to day affairs.

If for example you are stuck in traffic or in the line at the grocery store, and previously you would get upset or annoyed, realize that you chose to feel this way, and so next time catch yourself in such a situation, instead of focusing on those things which you dont like, those things which ultimately lie outside of your control focus on changing your response in positive and constructive ways.

This is easier said than done because old patterns of thinking, feeling and re-acting to external stimuli are deeply ingrained in our personality structure,  but practice makes mastery, so how about next time you find yourself in a situation which is difficult for you to deal with and you feel getting annoyed, frustrated, angry, or otherwise negatively influenced, take a step back, breathe deeply and let go of your need to change what ultimately cannot be changed.

I believe that the true essence of personal transformation comes with our ability to let go of our need to change those things in life which ultimately lie outside of our control and instead of focus on changing our response to what is happening to us.

Every journey of a thousand miles begins with one single step, and so I hope that we call can take a small step in the direction of learning (realizing) and practicing (actualizing) to let go of our need to change those things which lie outside of our control.

Instead of focusing on those things in life which make you upset, those things which ultimately cannot be changed, focus on changing your response in positive and constructive ways, and by doing that we all will be one step closer to self mastery and becoming an expert in the art of living.

Power to the peaceful and 9/11

On the anniversary of 9/11 there was a festival in Golden Gate park of San Francisco called ‘Power to the peaceful’ .

I really wanted to go, but due to some unforeseen events I was not able to make it. There was an incident when I was at a store where the clerk was very rude, and I even told him that, but what I realized is that this got me to change my peaceful attitude for the worse. Of course there was a reason in my mind for why I got upset, but instead of blaming the other person for that I became reminded again of how peace is a power which needs to be maintained, regardless of the outside conditions.

This is the spirit of the Power to the Peaceful, which is truly a power. What happened on 9/11 is an extreme example of how fear can create the illusion of an outside enemy which then can lead to much bloodshed and suffering.

If we only could realize the awesome power of peace and learn to lead the way in this spirit, and to let nothing upset our peaceful state of mind, we then could learn how to develop more peaceful relationships between ourselves, other people. entire countries and within this world.

The future is NOW

I like this idea because it brings it down to the essential; The Now is all there is, and as one Now leads to the next which leads to the next the future arises out of the NOW. We all heard that before, the power of NOW as made famous by Eckard Tolle, but what does that really mean? If one is truly present one can fully embrace the present moment as something new and magical instead of comparing what is happening NOW  to past experiences or expectations of he future.

I see this especially in relationships where the majority of times we go by past experiences where our superficial impressions or judgments keep us from fully experiencing the other person anew. Many times we think we already know somebody because of how they acted in the past, but because of that our mind is already made up and keeps us from learning a new side about them. This is the the point of any kind of relationship, for people to learn each other as they actively relate to one another, but how is that possible if we already think we know somebody?

If we could live in accordance to this awareness then there would be only learning as THE NOW IS ALWAYS NEW, always different, always unique and fresh. We might do the same routine day in and day out, meet the same people we have “known” for years, but instead of going by what the past has taught us we are open to fully experience what life brings us right here, right now. If you really think about it you could look at time as a space which you inhabit wherever you are, so the question then is; how are you in that present space, what is your attitude like, what thoughts are going through your mind, how do you re-act to what is happening to you, and do you give other people the space to express themselves so you can get to know them better?

Being fully present in the NOW is difficult for us ‘grow ups’ because we were trained to postpone instant gratification and surrender our free will for the sake of investing our time to achieve desirable results and outcomes for a better life tomorrow, but the interesting thing here is that being fully present comes naturally to us when we were were very small since all children are masters when it comes to being fully present.

This is our natural state, to be fully present in the NOW, and while we have forgotten this simple art  because we got caught up in the rat race of life let me assure you that it is simply a matter of remembering who we are in order to be more free, right here, right now. Every time you forget this because you have regrets about the past or you worry about tomorrow remember this simple truth; practice makes mastery, so practice practice practice and practice some more, and you can remember how to be more like a child in this world. This is true freedom

The birth of a new concept

I remember watching the movement of the hippies on TV while growing up in Germany, and I thought to myself what a wonderful group of people with flowers in their hair, holding up peace signs and promoting free love, but then I also noticed the darker side of reality such as watergate, the vietnam war, social injustice, corruption, poverty, violence, famine and the destruction of our natural environment, and so I felt that there was something missing, something practical.

Out of this awareness, and as the result of my own life experiences I came up with the concept of realize2actualize, which is meant to provide the missing link, the actualization, the living it, being it and putting into practice the realization that love is all there is.